Beware of Expectations

Consider the word “expectation.”

Taking several of its denotations/connotations together, 
it implies a certain commitment and intention, 
it implies anticipation, 
it implies a certain faith, 
and it implies that it should happen—
that something is wrong if it doesn’t happen.
This package deal is a mixture of distinctions that serve us best 
when they are made and kept distinct.

The following are five separate distinctions 
we often use for the word “expectation.”
I reserve only one of these five for the word “expectation.”

Expectation
means that you are counting on something to happen 
and if it doesn’t happen, 
then you will automatically assume
something is wrong with you, 
something is wrong with someone else, 
or something is wrong with the universe.
Expectation is a “make wrong” (blaming something)
waiting to happen.

Anticipation
is the projection that something will happen 
and that pain or pleasure with accompany it.
If a pleasurable projection doesn’t happen, 
then disappointment or sadness may occur,
but no “make wrong” occurs.

If a painful projection doesn’t happen, 
then relief or pleasure may occur as a result, 
but no “make right” occurs
(the other side of the coin to “make wrong”).

Intention
is a commitment to taking actions
which you believe will influence the realization 
of some outcome.
An intentional commitment to action
could be limited to the speaking of it,
if you believe your words have power, 
in and of themselves, to influence an outcome
(e.g., with prayer).

Commitment 
is saying something will happen, 
not only because you say it will happen, 
but also because of the consistent actions 
you will take to make it happen.

Faith
is the belief and/or knowing,
as a fatebelief, not a factbelief
(see the essay on fatebeliefs and factbeliefs, page [[]]),
to live as if something will happen, 
combined with the even greater knowledge that, 
if it should not happen, whatever does happen 
will be an even bigger gift in your life 
(even if you don’t initially see it is such).

By creating clarity around the mental tools we use 
and that use us (our words and distinctions), 
we have a power to create the life we want —
a life that would otherwise seem impossible.

Identify an expectation in your life
and, after letting go of that expectation,
create anticipation, intention, commitment, 
and faith around it.

Notice the choice of courage involved in doing so.
Honor yourself for choosing this courage.

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Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy — the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation.
— Eric Hoffer (1902–1983, American author, philosopher)

I always remember that I have everything I need to enjoy my here and now, unless I am letting my consciousness be dominated by demands and expectations based on the dead past or the imagined future.
— Ken Keyes, Jr. (1921-1995, American author)

One gift creates appreciation, many gifts create expectation.
— Tony Bright